Dwindling Friends

When I was at school, I felt pretty popular. I had a big circle of friends, a great social life, and I felt as though I would never, ever be lonely.


But 20 and pregnant, reality hit.

The huge circle of so-called friends suddenly dwindled to a handful. And after the arrival of R, it shrank even further.

I was suddenly more than a little lonely.

In fact, over the seven years that have passed, I have lost contact with all but one of my original friends. How sad is that?

Why does this happen? How do we go from these big social circles to suddenly feeling paralysing loneliness? I see the girls I went to school with on Facebook, still hanging out with the other girls from school. But they still seem to do all the same things they were doing at school - mostly going out and getting drunk and buying expensive stuff.

Somewhere along the way, I dropped out of this loop and became focused on budgeting for nappies and council tax, weaning a baby and saving to buy a house. They were at uni drinking £1 shots on bar crawls in seedy areas of town.

I've learned a lot from this journey, and no longer stand for the so-called friend rubbish that I once would have accepted without question. People get one chance and one chance only. I'm very good at unearthing someone's true colours and reacting accordingly - there is no space in my life for two faced backstabbers, users and "bitches".

Interestingly, I don't get included in the group activities Mr W's friends' wives and girlfriends engage in. And I'm just fine with that.

So the friendship circle may have dwindled, but right now I can count those friends I do have on just over one hand - and I know that if I was ever stuck, or needed a shoulder, they'd be there. Every single one of them. And likewise, I would go to the ends of the earth for them too.

Celebrate dwindling friends - you're filtering out the sand and silt to leave you with the gold underneath.

L xx